New Years morning musings

I find myself here again. Not only physically here, wrapped up in a warm, wooly blanket, but here. In this place of peace and comfort and promise. My feet, cold. barefoot. blue. 

But the sky is open and full and wide. 

I wish to compose a poem–a great work of sentiment and emotion. A poem to bring you to tears–to bring myself to tears. My mind runs faster though. My fingers grow impatient with my mind.

I have sat here so many times before. In this very chair. Looking out upon these very trees. These very hills that seem so open and embracing without the foliage of summer and fall. The coming of winter leaves the oaks, maples, birches, and pines raw. naked. transparent. This, our life, is a work of poetry, waiting to be read. 

And so am I. gazing. reflecting. seeing everything from a different perspective because of the changing of the season. I see myself. Eighteen. Wondering. And here I am, twenty-two. 

Still, a sense of wonder. A depth of emotion exists that no one could possibly know or understand. For this valley. For this hillside. For these woods and this valley and these stones on which I have tread and cursed and put in my pocket. Stones and rocks I’ve carried. Heart shaped ones, to remind me that God is in my heart. More so, that I am in His. He makes beautiful things out of us. Out of dust. Out of the miry clay.

I walked a trail in silence–begging The Lord to give me my way. My plan. My desire. And out of the brush–a buck–small, bright-eyed, quick. He flew across the path and into unmarked territory. 

This is your way, my daughter. unmarked. unplanned. unthought of. Into unmarked territory I am going to take you. A sink of my stomach.

Those inside relish the warmth of the cabin, soundly sleeping. Soon though, their laughter will echo and bring life to the quiet still of the earth. We will sit. We will eat. We will cast vision and dreams for the future of this year.

I, for one, am excited to take a walk through the woods–chasing after the quick feet of the buck who leads me. 

May His blessings pour out upon my life, may I give those blessings out as gifts to others.

4 Replies to “New Years morning musings”

  1. Audrey … I enjoy reading your posts. It is wonderful to see such a “willing heart”. Praying you never lose that. I believe that those that are willing to go where God leads them (regardless if it is where they “want” to go) will find the greatest blessings. Be blessed Audrey Jackson.

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