On ‘The One’ [and how I could have married anyone]

If you took a look at my google searches from a few years ago, a few things would happen. First, you’d discover that I’m secretly a hypochondriac who googles ailments and natural remedies like it’s my day job [much to my medical professional husband’s dismay]. Secondly, you’d realize that for the longest time, I struggled with the idea that there was only one man out there for me to marry.

And in my struggle and anxiety and attempt to figure out who ‘the one’ was, I almost missed out on the one right in front of me.

I think some people are created in the womb to be romantics. Idealists. Perfectionists. I am, undoubtedly, one of them. I was reading poetry in our backyard at age nine. I love every single Hallmark movie that gets aired at Christmas time. I cry at happy endings and sad endings and sometimes if I just see something really lovely. [There are a lot of feelings up in here].

I want things to unfold simply and clearly and easily. I have high [and often unrealistic] expectations for myself and for others. And I wholeheartedly believe that God has a plan for my life. Somewhere along the way though, on my journey from adolescent dream girl to grown woman, I latched on to the idea that God would tell me clearly when I had met “the one.”

And when I didn’t hear that voice from heaven or receive that perfect sign, I panicked. And stole from myself the gift of freedom and joy that comes with loving another person.

The problem I have now with the idea that there is only ONE person we could call our forever love is that it removes all choice.  And if I’ve learned anything about love–real love–Jesus love– in the last three years, it is that it is always a choice. One that isn’t always easy to make.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe some people have experiences quite different from mine. I know couples who knew right away they were meant to be together. I know couples who heard and felt the Spirit say, “hey–that one. He’s it for you.” But in the end, every single one of them still had to choose to walk towards that relationship.

I like to equate it to my love for Father God. He will never force us to love Him. He created us for communion with Him but what kind of relationship would ours be if He forced me to love Him? Is that love not so much more beautiful and freeing when we choose to invest and choose to believe and choose to love a God we cannot see? In a similar way, I believe God brings people in to our lives and gives us opportunities and blesses unions if they line up with His Word. That He has a best for us but that he would never force us to love someone.

So no, I never got some crazy sign that my husband was the one man out there I was supposed to be with. Looking back, I believe there were moments pointing me that direction, but there were many men that could have been the one for me. I could have waited. I could have continued to keep looking. And I believe eventually I would have fallen in love with someone else who God also would have been pleased with.

I believe I could have married anyone. But in doing so, I would have missed out on the one right in front of me.

The one who held back my hair in the back of a car when I thought I needed to throw up. The one who would call me late at night when I was struggling with anxiety attacks and would talk to me until I fell asleep. The one who served me faithfully and loved me unconditionally and listened to my dreams and heart. The one who made me more like Jesus. Man, let me tell you. He’s a good one.

And by choosing to love him, He has become my one and only. My happy ending. The one love who I wake up and choose every day. Because no matter who I would have eventually said, “I do” to, it still would have been a choice. And sometimes a hard one! [Let’s just be real, men and women are so very different sometimes].

So, I could have married anyone. But I’m thankful that God’s grace abounds and that a month ago today, I chose to marry the one whose name I now share and whose heart is fully mine. 

Here’s to a lifetime of choosing love.

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{photography by Shelby M’lynn photography. She’s magic.]

2 Replies to “On ‘The One’ [and how I could have married anyone]”

  1. Absolutely beautiful! I plan to share this with Braden and Brock! I am so happy for you Audrey and love you always!

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